I hate your face
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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