yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
