PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
