i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
how does that bad decision feel?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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