Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
