He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
