So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
