alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
