I feel like abortions should bother me more
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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