Quick, to the slutcave!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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