I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
