I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
