worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
