you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
