We're like a lot better than the average bears
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
