doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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