Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
