I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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