Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
