I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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