Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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