In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
