I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
