Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
FUCK WHALES
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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