have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
