so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
