Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
