In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
