I think I can smell my own vagina right now
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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