I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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