kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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