You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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