I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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