i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
