you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
