He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
do nipples grow back?
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