In the future we'll all be gay
It's like God shit irony all over that family
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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