I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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