I must be too annoying 4 u.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize