I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
