Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
