I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
