your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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