im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
