No stitches, just platelets and will power
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
