her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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