Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
