So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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