PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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