I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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