No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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