EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
