Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
