Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
