That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
