I hope mine doesn't look like that
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
