wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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