Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
