Where is the hickey?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
