You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I smell like Dick and happiness
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Holy shit dude........stairs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
