After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have fence marks all over my body
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
