It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize