Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
