I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
