btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
