It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
