thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize