he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
