I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
