Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
