No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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